Being Gay in Men's Football: A Toxic Environment

“You don't belong on this earth” ... “Why are you here?” ... “Stop breathing.”

After announcing he was gay in 2021, footballer the athlete has faced constant threats and abusive messages on social media.

“When I first saw these messages, I was devastated,” the player explains. “No-one wants to read things like that.

“I'm trying to get better as a player and reach my full potential on the pitch, and then get put down because of who I am. It's appalling.”

Midfielder the sportsman was playing for Adelaide United four years ago when he emerged as the sole publicly out elite soccer player in the world.

Recently he left Australia to sign with lower-tier club Peterborough Sports, who play in front of crowds of about 400 in the sixth division, one level below of English football.

This young athlete balances his sports career for the semi-professional team by advocating for LGBTQ+ issues and using his profile - he has more than one million followers on social media - to promote fairness and inclusion.

“Definitely, there's enormous work ahead,” the footballer comments when asked if football still has a problem with discrimination.

“Rarely a week passes without hearing about an issue.”

‘People want to harm me’

It took years for Cavallo to work up the courage to say “I'm gay” before coming out on 27 October 2021.

“All I want to do is play football and be treated equally,” he stated in an accompanying video.

The player was 21 and making a name for himself at his Australian club in Australia's top flight when, with the support of his team-mates, he announced his orientation publicly.

“I didn't know what was ahead. I had no expectations,” he says. “It felt like the right time in my life. I needed to move forward.”

His emotional coming out video, entitled ‘His Personal Story’, gained massive attention on social media.

“My mobile phone exploded with messages of support. The response was incredible.”

Liverpool were one of many high-profile clubs around the world to express support for the player, with then manager the German manager saying: “I appreciate that he did it because now we talk again.”

Spanish player Gerard Pique also offered support, posting online that “the world of football is far behind and your actions drive progress”, while his former club released a comment backing their “extraordinary” and “brave” player.

Some people, however, were less welcoming.

The footballer quickly became a subject to anti-gay remarks by opposition fans.

During early 2022 a competing team were penalized A$5,000 over anti-gay abuse from fans directed at the player during a match.

“The things I'd hear were painful and derogatory towards my community,” he says.

“I didn't react because I knew that would only feed the haters.”

There was a frightening incident at a gas station in Australia, where the athlete was assaulted by an individual who identified him from the media attention.

“It was terrifying,” he remembers. “The thought crossed my mind ‘this is real - people want to harm me’.

“Should this be tolerated? Absolutely not. But through my disclosure, this is what it brings.

“My wish is that the next person who comes out while playing football at a high level doesn't have to experience the path I have experienced.”

Cavallo says the constant menacing messages and abusive messages have affected his psychological well-being.

“It's quite sad because I must justify why I deserve a place on the football field for my identity,” he says.

“Heterosexual players aren't questioned and ask ‘why should you exist in football?’.

“Many individuals see me as a smiling, optimistic person. But sometimes when I lean on my fiance, Leighton, and he gets to see a lot that happens privately.”

‘Top-tier athlete revealing orientation would create waves’

The player's choice to reveal his sexuality helped inspire 17-year-old attacking player another athlete to come out as the UK's only openly gay playing soccer professional in spring 2022.

However, there are zero publicly LGBTQ athletes in the top English division.

“It would create massive change,” comments Cavallo on the effect a Premier League player coming out would make.

“But I must be honest. Numerous frightening aspects that would await this individual. In the world of football, being an openly gay player is a very toxic place.”

Over two decades after Justin Fashanu - Britain's first openly gay male footballer - took his own life in 1998, Cavallo has discussed the “harmful male culture” that still exists in men's football.

“Simply attend to a game and observe the unfriendly atmosphere and male-dominated culture that the audience creates,” he says.

“There is still a lot of work to ensure there is a secure environment in soccer for individuals like me and Jake.

“We haven't seen it (more players coming out) as much as we would like.

“My role is to continue advocating for what I think is right, and strive for taking out the harmful male norms in football changing rooms and establishing secure environments.”

‘My mission is to drive progress’

The player says football has allowed him to have conversations within team environments about revealing one's orientation.

However, he is critical of Fifa, after Qatar, where homosexual partnerships are illegal, staged the global tournament in 2022.

Future World Cup is scheduled in Saudi Arabia, where homosexuality is also illegal.

“Am I impressed that the global championship is in nations that criminalise same-sex marriages, where people like me will be imprisoned for just existing on that land? It's scary,” says Cavallo.

“I receive communications [from people living in these countries] saying ‘I face imprisonment for being who I am - is assistance possible?’.

“It's devastating that people are getting locked up for being who they are.

“Certain nations that are significant soccer markets and they reject the queer community. These places that often focus on me.”

Despite this, the footballer says he won't cease advocating.

“Soccer has allowed me to start conversations in the changing room. It has allowed me to speak and educate people who want to learn more.

“Some will disapprove for your identity. But I have found my family. I have found my community.

“My purpose is to create change. That's my objective.”