Must A Aspiring Content Creator Friend Cease Exploiting People for Material?

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?